Hipster Monkey, Blond Jokes, & Funny Status Updates

Make your weekend last longer by posting these…

Funny Statuses for Facebook:

  • Laughter is a smile with the volume turned up. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
  • Why do prisoners get rewarded for “good behavior”? Shouldn’t I get rewarded for good behavior since I’ve managed to stay out of jail for 22 years?
  • So you’re a feminist. Isn’t that cute.
  • Admit it, sometimes, even when your crush does something really weird…. it still looks cute for you.
  • I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.”
  • A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.
  • Before Facebook, I had told maybe six people “Happy Birthday,” ever. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Some relationships are like Tom & Jerry. They tease and irritate each other, knock each other down, but can’t live without each other.
  • Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
  • Twitter makes me want to have drinks with people I’ve never met, and Facebook makes me want to throw drinks at people I already know.
  • Saw this person’s photo on Facebook & I thought to myself ” DAMN I’D HIT THAT “……with a truck. “
  • There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )

Relationship Status: We often fear being rejected so very much that we reject ourselves first before anyone else has the chance.

Check out our *NEW* Funny Status Section!

Clever Blond Joke:

Clever Blond Joke

LOL, didn’t see that one coming did you?  Be sure to SHARE that one on FB.

Hipster Monkey in Hollywood:


Post that one on your Facebook Wall and watch the comments/likes fly in like a magnet.

Need more funny statuses, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our *NEW* Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from! We’ll see you on MONDAY for more Funny Statuses!!!