Happy Thursday, Share these…
Hilarious Facebook Statuses:
- I should win an Academy Award for every time I pretend to not see someone I know in public.
- I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
- Everything enjoyable makes you fat, an addict, or broke.
- Coffee keeps me busy until it’s acceptable to drink beer.
- Just went downstairs alone to get a drink and didn’t run like hell upstairs after I turned the light off so I guess I’m a grownup now.
- Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
- I’m writing this from the hospital. Don’t worry! The doctors say I’m going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
- My road to success is under construction and all the workers are out getting shitfaced.
- If you leave Tokyo by plane at 7am, you will arrive in Honolulu at approximately 4:30 the previous day.
- Bed is always the comfiest right at the time you are supposed to be getting out of it.
- I am pretty sure dry cleaning is a scam where they just laugh and rub money on your clothes then hang them back up in a plastic bag.
- I didn’t scream out someone else’s name during sex. I was thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant…
- Sometimes you have to accept that the person you fall for isn’t ready to catch you.
- I need to adjust the brightness settings for my future.
- What if our entire universe is just in a tiny glass jar placed neatly on a shelf in an alien child’s room as a science project?
- Make your employees work 8x faster by constantly playing that music from Sonic the Hedgehog when you’ve been under water for too long.
- Feeling someone smile while kissing them is the best feeling ever.
- I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
- It’s pretty scary that before facebook … all this stuff just stayed in peoples heads …
- I need an app that just screams “Put the phone down and go do something, idiot!” whenever I pick my phone up.
This is one MASSIVE Horse…
I’ve never seen such a huge horse before. Have you?
This Guys Voice Sounds Just Like a Girl…
That was one heck of an impression. Dead on 🙂