Girl Voice, Giant Horse, and Hilarious Statuses

Happy Thursday, Share these…

Hilarious Facebook Statuses:

1. I should win an Academy Award for every time I pretend to not see someone I know in public.
2. I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
3. Everything enjoyable makes you fat, an addict, or broke.
4. Coffee keeps me busy until it’s acceptable to drink beer.
5. Just went downstairs alone to get a drink and didn’t run like hell upstairs after I turned the light off so I guess I’m a grownup now.
6. Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
7. I’m writing this from the hospital. Don’t worry! The doctors say I’m going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
8. My road to success is under construction and all the workers are out getting shitfaced.
9. If you leave Tokyo by plane at 7am, you will arrive in Honolulu at approximately 4:30 the previous day.
10. Bed is always the comfiest right at the time you are supposed to be getting out of it.
11. I am pretty sure dry cleaning is a scam where they just laugh and rub money on your clothes then hang them back up in a plastic bag.
12. I didn’t scream out someone else’s name during sex. I was thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant…
13. Sometimes you have to accept that the person you fall for isn’t ready to catch you.
14. I need to adjust the brightness settings for my future.
15. What if our entire universe is just in a tiny glass jar placed neatly on a shelf in an alien child’s room as a science project?
16. Make your employees work 8x faster by constantly playing that music from Sonic the Hedgehog when you’ve been under water for too long.
17. Feeling someone smile while kissing them is the best feeling ever.
18. I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
19. It’s pretty scary that before facebook … all this stuff just stayed in peoples heads …
20. I need an app that just screams “Put the phone down and go do something, idiot!” whenever I pick my phone up.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

This is one MASSIVE Horse…

I’ve never seen such a huge horse before. Have you?

This Guys Voice Sounds Just Like a Girl…

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UoJ-34Ssa0[/youtube]

That was one heck of an impression. Dead on 🙂