Relax! It’s the weekend! Make your friends chuckle with these…
Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App)
- I live every day like it’s my first. There’s a lot of crying and sleeping involved.
- Facebook. Where people you don’t know are better friends than your real friends.
- My business is awkward smiles and poorly executed high-fives, and business is good.
If diamonds are a girl’s best friend and a dog is man’s best friend, who really is the dumber sex?
- Considering I’m broke, I wonder if she’ll let me be her sugar-free daddy.
- Open your eyes, people! The Three Little Pigs was written by bricklayers.
- I try to live by the adage: You scratch my back; I’ll let you know when to stop. ツ ( “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily Funny Status Updates)
- Wore camouflage pants once. Still can’t find my legs.
- When writing a resume, it’s much more valuable to say you are an expert at “replicate and repurpose functionality” than “copy and paste.”
- My NY friends complain I never have to shovel in LA. Yeah? You think these heaps of broken dreams will get off the sidewalk themselves?
- “Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?” is just not as challenging since she started using foursquare.
- Despite their name, riot police don’t have much of a sense of humor.
- I threw caution to the wind, but the wind threw it back.
I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want? (From our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )
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A little classic Will Ferrell never hurt anybody! Have a good safe weekend and type your favorite statuses in the comments! If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post: “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App