Make your weekend last longer by sharing these funny status updates with your Facebook friends!

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  1. A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  2. If I’m ever on life support, I hope they remember to try switching me off and then back on again.
  3. “Username or Password Incorrect” You couldn’t just tell me which one?
  4. Does AT&T allow phone calls on their network? Anyone know?
  5. The wise man sees but does not speak. The fool sees but speaks anyway. Then what does that make the blind mute?
  6. Trouble defies the law of gravity. It’s easier to pick up than to drop.
  7. At the planetarium with my family. I think my wife was surprised to discover she’s not the center of the universe.
  8. How hard can it be to proof red a status? ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  9. The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more. ~Wilson Mizener
  10. Knowledge is power. If you know it about the right person. (VIA our Tweeter:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  11. Surely I’m not the only who chews extra hard to make sure the Teddy Grahams are good and dead. Surely.
  12. To make a lot of money is my one goal in life. Turns out my laziness and lack of ambition is a really good goalie.
  13. This morning I put Red Bull into my coffee maker instead of water and now I can see noises.

Funny Picture to post to your Facebook wall or Profile:

Things aren't quite what they seem.

Funny Video to post:

If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them! Have a safe weekend, cya Monday for more Funny Statuses!