16 Fresh & Funny Status Updates for Every Occasion!

You’ll be getting dozens of comments and likes by posting these…

15 Funny Status Updates for Every Occasion:

1. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
2. Just Unfriended a Facebook Friend on their Birthday… that takes TRUE GRIT!
3. It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.
4. If money talks, why won’t it have a conversation with me?
5. You owe it to yourself to become successful. After that, you’ll owe it to the IRS.
6. All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.
7. A rumor goes in one ear and then out of many mouths.
8. In a perfect world you’d be able to mark people as spam in real life. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
9. If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
10. Don’t play stupid with me – I’m better at it.
11. Why is it that most nudists are people you don’t want to see naked?
12. Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
13. try to say the letter `M` without your lips touching.
14. The next time I cross the street and there is a car on the crosswalk, I’m going through the backseat.
15. The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy. (VIA our Tweeter:@FreeFunnyStuff )
16. What a gorgeous day to walk around outside staring at my phone.