Facebook Copyright Myth, Toothpaste, & Hilarious Status Updates

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Hilarious Facebook Status Updates:

  1. If you eat an entire cake without cutting it you technically only had one piece.
  2. Do crabs think we walk sideways?
  3. Be stronger than the cookie.
  4. That awkward moment when you remember something funny, start smiling like an idiot and everyone stares at you.
  5. My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn’t walk to the donut shop.
  6. If you ever go camping be sure to bring along someone who has a good camera and can take good pictures. Bigfoot obviously avoids people like this.
  7. “Your Days Are Numbered” would be a great name for a calendar store.
  8. The heart beats itself to death.
  9. UFO sightings drastically decreased since most people got HD smartphone cameras. We basically went from no credibility because of technology to no credibility because of technology.
  10. My coworkers will stand around confused during a fire drill but the office turns into the Hunger Games when there’s lunch brought in for everyone.
  11. If you die childless, you are breaking a 3.5 billion year run of all of your direct ancestors leaving progeny. No pressure though.
  12. “Your Days Are Numbered” would be a great name for a calendar store.
  13. Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I did last year.
  14. New College Admissions Test ______ not getting into this college
    A. Your B. Ur C. You’re D. U’re
  15. In hell you just stand in line at a DMV while “Happy” by Pharrell plays on an endless loop.
  16. Married sext: I’m not wearing any underwear, because you never put the f*cking laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 times.
  17. I act like Pacman at parties. I walk around the room eating everything in site and avoiding everyone.
  18. I’m like a kid in a candy store. I can’t afford anything.
  19. Calm down, different flavored Oreos. Nobody wants to make that kind of decision. Regular or Double stuff was hard enough.
  20. Do people who run know that we’re not food anymore.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Facebook Copyright Law Myth:

Thank you crazy uncles and high school friends for posting this nonsense. Glad we could clear it up for you with that video. If you enjoyed please share or like with your friends 🙂

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