The Statuses that make your Facebook friends LIKE you…
Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
- Facebook is the adult way of having imaginary friends. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
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Hard work never hurt anybody. But I’m hoping the boss will be first.
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My wife and I had words but I never got to use mine.
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Being paranoid means never having to think that you’re alone.
- Me and my bestfriend can communicate just with face expressions.
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“You ask.” “No, you ask!” “Will you please ask?” “Why can`t you ask?” “Fine… Hey my FRIEND wants to ask you something!”
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I know the exact day I gave up exercise. It’s on my birth certificate.
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My car has heated seats. That is if the sun beats through the window just right.
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They say couples should never go to bed angry. That’s why married people always look so tired. (97+Likes in 6minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
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People always say to expect the unexpected. So if you expect the unexpected then the unexpected becomes the expected. So really your just expecting the expected.
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I’m so honest, I can’t even steal a glance.
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The reason I’m single? She wouldn’t marry me when I was drinking and I wouldn’t marry her when I was sober.
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Google must be a woman, it knows everything.
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I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes and I thought to myself, “Wow dogs are easily entertained…” Then I realized, I just watched my dog chase its tail for ten minutes…
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People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
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I’m not so much goofing off as impersonating upper management.
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If aliens ever land on earth and demand to see our leader, our best chance of survival is to bring them to Lady Gaga.
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Battery low please charge! 1% █ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅] (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
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Take your troubles like a man. Blame them on your wife.
Thousands More AMAZING Status Updates…
Ohhhh Hey There…
Look at those EARS! Ah-mah-ZING 🙂 Post that Sand Cat Kitten on your FB wall to get some LIKEs and comments!
Dog grabs a beer…
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEmDHO9rLGY[/youtube]
Bonus Awesome Video: Bizarre Digital Clock
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