Dog gets Beer, Adorable Kitty, & Facebook Statuses

The Statuses that make your Facebook friends LIKE you…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • Facebook is the adult way of having imaginary friends. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • Hard work never hurt anybody. But I’m hoping the boss will be first.
  • My wife and I had words but I never got to use mine.
  • Being paranoid means never having to think that you’re alone.
  • Me and my bestfriend can communicate just with face expressions.
  • “You ask.” “No, you ask!” “Will you please ask?” “Why can`t you ask?” “Fine… Hey my FRIEND wants to ask you something!”
  • I know the exact day I gave up exercise. It’s on my birth certificate.
  • My car has heated seats. That is if the sun beats through the window just right.
  • They say couples should never go to bed angry. That’s why married people always look so tired. (97+Likes in 6minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • People always say to expect the unexpected. So if you expect the unexpected then the unexpected becomes the expected. So really your just expecting the expected.
  • I’m so honest, I can’t even steal a glance.
  • The reason I’m single? She wouldn’t marry me when I was drinking and I wouldn’t marry her when I was sober.
  • Google must be a woman, it knows everything.
  • I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes and I thought to myself, “Wow dogs are easily entertained…” Then I realized, I just watched my dog chase its tail for ten minutes…
  • People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
  • I’m not so much goofing off as impersonating upper management.
  • If aliens ever land on earth and demand to see our leader, our best chance of survival is to bring them to Lady Gaga.
  • Battery low please charge! 1% █ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅ ̲̅]  (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
  • Take your troubles like a man. Blame them on your wife.
Thousands More AMAZING Status Updates…

Ohhhh Hey There…

Sand Kitten

Look at those EARS! Ah-mah-ZING 🙂 Post that Sand Cat Kitten on your FB wall to get some LIKEs and comments!

Dog grabs a beer…


Bonus Awesome Video: Bizarre Digital Clock

Want more funny status updates, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our awesome Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from!