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Hilarious Statuses:
- Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 300,000 times, well then you’re probably a weatherman.
- If you’re out running in jeans, I’m gonna go ahead and assume you just participated in a felony.
- It takes so much self control for me not to write, “you sure about that?” under Facebook engagement announcements.
- I have the amazing superpower of making any situation awkward.
- When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it…
- I don’t get older. I level up.
- Dear Stress, Lets break up. <3 Me
- Homeless sign: Please help me out. All money reinvested locally.
- I wear earbuds that aren’t hooked up to anything just so people won’t talk to me.
- Hey graffiti artists, how the hell did you get up there?
- Once you lick frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin.
- Going to the skate park to watch people fall.
- It must be really wierd when the only thing you’re TOO young for is Social Security.
- “After five guys I feel like a bad person,” doesn’t sound right even though I’m referring to a cheeseburger with fries.
- When you’re riding in a chevy and you feel something heavy…
- I finally found something Walmart doesn’t sell: harps.
- Tortoise was mugged by some snails…police asked what happened. Tortoise said I dunno, it all happened so fast.
- Does anyone else feel like Marge Simpson when they have their wet hair in a towel on top of their head?
- I need my decision making privileges taken away.
- Happy Birthday, person whose birthday it is (posted daily)
When you leave your cat at home…
Well at least it seemed like forever!
Bath Time for Dachshunds Puppies…
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2YBmUkm3Uc[/youtube]
Not even most humans are that excited for a bath. Bravo, pups!
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