Cup Drumming, Toilet Tree, and Hilarious Statuses

More likes per share, with these…

21 Hilarious Facebook Status Updates:

  1. I don’t fear the unknown. The known is scary enough for me already.
  2. Sometimes I drop things and am too lazy to pick them up, like pencils, or my hopes and dreams.
  3. Hey people who like to start conversations with complete strangers, knock that shit off.
  4. I’ve set my “life goals” to stuff I’ve already done so literally every day now I’m overachieving. It’s all about perspective.
  5. The awkward moment when someone says hi to you and you don’t remember who they are.
  6. Am I the first to learn a shoe makes a perfect cupholder?
  7. It’s not my fault that my phone is more interesting than you.
  8. There’d be less accidents if there was a texting lane.
  9. Just bought a new pack of socks to avoid doing laundry tonight.
  10. The best way to win an argument is to play dead.
  11. Pretty much every decision I make revolves around food or if I’ll be able to sit down.
  12. Speak for yourselves. Everybody was NOT kung-fu fighting. I went camping that day.
  13. Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I’ll ever get to being a magician.
  14. I do not have grey hairs…. I have wisdom highlights!
  15. This recliner and I go way back.
  16. Revenge is a dish best served steaming hot! So your enemies burn their tongue.
  17. If you have to ask someone if they’re having fun, the answer is no.
  18. Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
  19. Anybody know of a good job for someone that hates people and working?
  20. I do ten sit ups every morning. It might not sound like much, but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
  21. Do you know what I find interesting?…Neither does this person who keeps talking to me.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Best Timeline Covers

Toilet Paper Problems, No More:

Problem Solved - Toilet Paper

This changes everything! No more fights.

EPIC Cup Drumming Video

It’s one of those videos that you just have to watch 5 times and it gets better every time… Share this video before it goes uber-viral!

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