Make Monday suck less, share these…
Hilarious Facebook Statuses:
- When you can’t take a joke, you become one.
- Business Idea: Minding your own.
- I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed. Again.
- Sometimes it’s easy to forget we would all violently murder each other if we couldn’t obtain basic food or water. Have a great day guys.
- A house is not a home until you can find all light switches in the dark.
- Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes – unless he wears those weird toe-shoe things. You may judge that man immediately.
- The worst part of being an insomniac is having to eat spiders while I’m awake to maintain my yearly average.
- Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last year but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway.
- Sometimes you can tell it’s going to be a bad day when someone you don’t like is smiling.
- Why can’t my coworkers just play on the Internet like normal people instead of trying to engage me in conversation.
- Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
- If you eat it in the car before you get home, it never existed.
- Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
- I could amaze you with the things I don’t know and terrify you with the things I do know.
- I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
- One time I put my phone in my pocket and didn’t take it out for like almost 5 minutes.
- I make the other half of the Oreo watch.
- Sometimes you have to photoshop your life. Touch up edges, adjust the tones, blur the background, focus on yourself & crop some people out.
- You should be able to park in an “expecting mother” parking space if you’re waiting for your mom.
- I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers.
This Pomeranian apparently got so upset with his new haircut that he started standing and walking around on his hind legs after he got back from the groomers…for 2 days.
Talk about a bad haircut.
Crazy Walrus Noises:
Whoa. Who knew a Walrus could make noises like that?? Share if you enjoyed.