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Presidents Day Status Updates:
- Happy Mattress Sale Day!
- Can’t go to school tomorrow, I have to spend the day thinking about our great presidents.
- Shout out to George Washington and Abe Lincoln for not only being badass Presidents, but also getting us off from school and work.
- All those presidents died for your right to get discounts on mattreses and patio furniture. Show some respect.
- I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. -George Washington
- Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom. -Thomas Jefferson
- There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America. -Bill Clinton
- As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. -John F. Kennedy
- I leave you, hoping that the lamp of liberty will burn in your bosoms until there shall no longer be a doubt that all men are created free and equal. -Abraham Lincoln
- Think about every problem, every challenge, we face. The solution to each starts with education. -George H.W. Bush
Plain Ole Funny Status Updates!
- I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for the answer.
- Sarcasm is like a good game of chess. Most people don’t know how to play chess.
- If you say “Kanye” in the mirror three times, he appears, pushes you over and starts screaming his own name in the mirror.
- Alcohol is photoshop for real life.
- Talking with quiet confidence will always beat yelling with obvious insecurity.
- They have all those non-smoking laws in public places so let’s now all focus on passing some perfume/cologne usage limits.
- Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
- Sluts are just hookers with no grasp of economics.
- There are 15 year olds skating in the Olympics and I can’t even walk down my driveway in winter.
- Roses are red, bacon is also red.
Poems are hard, bacon.
Crazy Dog Yelp!
Sir, I think your dog may be broken. LOL! That was insane 🙂 Please share if you enjoyed.
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