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Top 20 Silly Status Posts:
- We all have a shirt that we like wearing too much.
- Inspiration: nobody else knows what the hell they’re doing either.
- Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.
- Today’s revelation..if you say “beer can” with a British accent, you’re also saying “bacon” with a Jamaican accent.
- You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands for example if she is holding a gun she’s probably angry.
- If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
- Funny how people get all angry when you break something of their’s that they don’t ever use. Like turn signals with a baseball bat.
- 99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I’m part of the other 2%
- Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
- PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
- If I had a time machine I’d set it to “back in the day”, just to see what everyone is talking about.
- Don’t let school get in the way of your education.
- This kid poured milk on the cat. When I asked why she said “He’s thirsty and likes to lick himself.” I couldn’t argue with that.
- In my head, I’m the mean judge on a show called So You Think Your Story is Interesting.
- The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries until I unpacked them all and said, “That’s how I want you to do it.”
- Checking your phone when someone pulls out their phone is the yawn of our generation.
- Merlot sounds like an alcoholic wizards name.
- I wonder if anyone has watched Storage Wars and said, “Hey, that’s my shit!”?
- Go to the train station and make eye contact with someone as the train pulls away and then chase after it it while yelling “I LOVE YOU!”
- The Swiss must’ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
Pop Tart Bandit Stopped Cold:
Dawwwww poor little girl 🙂 That will teach her to share those delicious morsels.
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