Step your status game up, share these…
Facebook Status Humor:
- My dog is cooler than most people.
- I make love like I use semicolons; rarely and probably incorrectly.
- I haven’t been this disappointed since I first saw a real hedgehog and it wasn’t blue.
- You say “it’s complicated”, I think “you’re unstable”.
- I’m that horrible friend who reads your text then puts the phone down to do something and forgets to reply until 4 hours later.
- Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone.
- If my calculations are correct, and they usually are, I ran out of money six years ago.
- You’d be amazed how often I’m wrong when people say guess what.
- If you really want to get to know someone, start arguing with them.
- I’m responsible for what I say…not for what you understand.
- Love doesn’t walk away, people do.
- Did I un-jam the copier? Yes. Does that make me a hero? Not for me to say. But probably.
- Are you really sorry or are you just Charlie Sheen sorry?
- Calling someone “stupid” is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it’s just a diagnosis.
- If it takes you more than an hour to answer a text message I will assume that you’re dead.
- I wonder if dog’s had facebook, would they put our picture as their profile picture.
- You know when you recognize someone but don’t know if they remember you and they feel the same way so you try not to look at each other?
- When people try extra hard to cover the keypad as they enter their pin at the ATM, I always want to whisper, “I saw it” when they’re done.
- It’s not really stalking if you don’t catch me doing it.
- Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.
Ultimate “Selfie” Picture:
Best Commercial of 2013 – Guy Uses an actual Break-In to his store to make a commercial:
LOL! How creative… Sold me on those delicious looking sandwiches. Make sure to share this post if you agree.