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Baby Interrogation, KittEhh Fits, and Statuses Galore

FunnyStatus Team

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Funny Facebook Statuses Galore:

Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was “reduced fat” so basically it was like going to the gym.
I hope my last words aren’t “What does this thing do?”
That awkward moment when someone skinnier than you says “I’m so fat.” and you stand there like (-_-)
Laughing so hard no noise comes out so you just sit there clapping like a idiotic seal.
I don’t care how old I am. If I lose my Mom in the supermarket I will panic.
Erase the messages, delete the numbers and move on. You don’t have to forget them but just accept that they aren’t that person anymore.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
“Do you want to try a bite of mine?” “Nope. I ordered what I like.”
A house isn’t a home unless there’s wifi.
Showers: never want to get in, then never wanting to get out.
It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.
If you call shot gun while being arrested it should be respected.
Facebook etiquette: Thou shall not hold a conversation under someone’s status post.
An “ear of corn” looks nothing like an ear.
Does anyone else get bothered by that last inch the shower curtain wont cover?
In my next life, I’d like to come back as someone who has a life.
Fun Fact of the day… A computer keyboard has more bacteria than a toilet seat.
If slow-walkers only knew the pain of the fast-walkers trapped behind them, they may just speed it up a little.
I hate it when you drink water and the ice attacks your face.
My neighbor knocked on my door at three in the morning! Can you believe that? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums.