Make Monday fun, share one of these…
20 Great Status Posts:
- My parallel parking skills are unparalleled.
- Cowboys that ride off into the sunset quickly run out of daylight and have to camp just outside of town. Probably should’ve just stayed put for the night instead of being all dramatic.
- I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
- You should be able to yell “BE RIGHT THERE” to your phone and since it knows you’re coming, it gives you a few extra rings before sending the user to voicemail.
- I love those people you can joke around with and have so much fun with and then have a deep conversation with and it’s not weird at all.
- I wonder if spiders get as pissed off as I do when I walk through their webs.
- Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
- If you got your tongue stuck in a mouse trap, you’d start pronouncing it mouth trap, and that is also what it would be, and that is pleasing.
- The most unrealistic thing about the movie Taken was that two millennial teenage girls were trying to follow a U2 tour.
- They should make fun, adult-sized, adult-only playgrounds. More people would get exercise that way.
- I don’t think girls realize how handsome my mom says I am.
- Life hack: If you keep your mouth shut, no one will know you’re so stupid.
- When my father took me out fishing when I was a kid, he used to warn me to be quiet because we would scare the fish away. Pretty sure he just wanted me to shut the f*ck up for a few hours.
- Life is weird. First you wanna grow up, then you wanna be a kid again.
- It’s 2015 and food can still make you fat…get it together, Science.
- That awesome moment when you’re telling a lie and your best friend notices and joins you.
- My level of maturity depends on who I am with.
- I like to live vicariously through people.
Not you, I meant someone more exciting.
- Kids do without thinking, adults think without doing.
- I put my pants on just like everyone else: in your mom’s bedroom in the morning.
How you can tell if someone has a Boston Accent..
If you don’t get it, read it aloud and try again 😛 It’s a bit of a dad joke but, this one made me chuckle.
When you can’t stop sneezing..
Good thing that rooster crowed or he could have been sneezing forever.
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