The world famous weekend wrap -up is here and we’ve got something for everyone. Share our statuses with some good friends and you’ll get some guaranteed laughs!
Status Updates for the Weekend:
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Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
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The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment.
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Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
- Dear guy who invented taking pictures of yourself in a mirror with a cell phone: Do you see what you’ve done? I hope you’re happy.
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In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is a 90% probability you will get it wrong.
- Why do people lie and cheat? Because they know its easier to get foregiveness than permission.
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I dieted for a month and all I lost was 30 days
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What is right is often forgotten by what is convenient.
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A woman knows she’s wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it off.
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I used to be in a band called ‘Missing Cat’. You probably saw our posters. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
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Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.
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My wife and I had words but I never got to use mine.
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This next song is called subtraction. Take it away!
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I need an app on my phone to connect to the morons Bluetooth driving next to me so I can fart in his ear.
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If time is money, I’m running out of time.
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I tell people to have a great weekend at noon on Mondays hoping they won’t talk to me for the rest of the week.
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Don’t do drugs kids. There is a time and place for everything. It’s called college. – South Park (VIA our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )
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I own the erasers for all the miniature golf pencils.
- New Life goal, make it to the bottom of my chapstick before I lose it.
Amazing new Popular Likes. All the hot Facebook Likes in one place.
Funny Picture to Post:
I want one of those!!! The Hat, not the baby 😉
Awesome Video to Post:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6CXAaI1OAo[/youtube]
Bonus Funny Video: Don’t do Crack this weekend.
Have a safe weekend and please join us Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post: “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus.
