Animal Dubs, Emo Cow, and Tasty Statuses

Score easy likes, share these…

Tasty Statuses for Facebook:

1. Anything you say will be used against you, in an argument, 10 months from now, because I’m a woman. And we never forget. Anything. Ever.
2. That awkward moment when you hear yourself eating crunchy food, and wonder if other people can hear it too.
3. Calm down mechanic guy. Just here for an oil change. If I wanted to know about all the other stuff wrong with my car I’d turn the radio down.
4. Imagine reading a book of every conversation where people have spoken about you.
5. People who treat others like crap because they know they’ll stick around are the worst kind of people.
6. No, you don’t have “haters”. People just don’t like you. Get over yourself.
7. I am soon going to realize my dream of opening a combination hardware and sporting goods store…its name shall be…”Sport N’ Wood”
8. Imagine this: you’re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers “Bless you” and hangs up.
9. “That’s nice honey.” -Grandma’s version of ‘Cool story bro.’
10. Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
11. My life is one big “wow ok”.
12. Note to self: don’t set your password reminder as “you should know this”
13. Stop using “that is all” at the end of your posts. That is all.
14. My ego persuades me to be a lot more confident than I should be.
15. If you don’t have something nice to wear, then don’t wear anything at all.
16. “Who is this I just got a new phone?” Really means I didn’t bother to store your number because you aren’t that important.
17. Since it’s way too hard to get six pack abs, could we maybe collectively decide they’re gross instead?
18. Five bucks says I’m totally broke.
19. When I’m rich, I’m going to dictate my status updates to my secretary, and my butler will press the share button.
20. A new study found that ESP could actually be real. I read about it in tomorrow’s paper.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Funny Status iOS (Just Updated)

This Cow is so EMO he doesn’t even care..

You wouldn’t even know what that song was about anyways.

EPIC Animal Voice Dubs:

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-Kt_kuYVtU[/youtube]

I always knew Animals were saying some awesome things and now I can prove it. Share with your friends!