You Shall Not Pass, Horses Secret Plan, and HAHA Status Updates

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Facebook Status Updates that make you go HAAHHAHAHA:

  1. When one door closes another one opens. Or you could jut re-open the closed door. Because that’s how doors work.
  2. That awkward moment when you want to laugh in a serious situation.
  3. Next time you see someone you don’t like, begin conversation with “I see the assassins have failed.”
  4. Thank God I still have a few days to achieve my goal of “going to the gym in 2013.”
  5. One of the advantages of being a man is that chocolate doesn’t control you. Disadvantage: Sex does. Relevant: Chocolate is easier to get.
  6. Dear bald guy with the two hair strand comb over: stop it!
  7. They should start selling Photoshop CD’s at cosmetic shops.
  8. I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn’t even eat them?
  9. Sleeping is so difficult when you have a world awake in your phone.
  10. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: it before
  11. OK, I’m getting out of bed in 10 seconds. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9…
  12. Can’t sleep at night, can’t get up in the morning.
  13. Well it’s time to go from sitting on my office chair, to sitting in traffic, to sitting on my couch. I’m very skilled at sitting.
  14. *me after a haircut*
    me: i love it!
    me: it’s different
    me: it’s not that bad
    me: OMG WHY!
    me: WHERE IS MY HAIR??
    me: THEY CUT OFF TOO MUCH!
  15. That moment when you have so many things to do and decided to take a nap instead.
  16. Madonna is 54 and her boyfriend’s 25
    Jennifer Lopez is 43 and her boyfriend’s 26
    so if you’re single its ok maybe he’s just not born yet.
  17. Admit it….. You’ve Googled yourself.
  18. I don’t trust people who like me the second we meet. I’m an acquired taste.
  19. I don’t think you’re a waste of space. I just think your space could be better occupied by air.
  20. Getting stuff out of my refrigerator is like playing Jenga.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Best Stocking Stuffer Under $25

Horses Secret Plan becomes known…

You Shall Not Pass IRL:

ROFL! That was hilarious 😛 hopefully it was staged but, ya that was pretty epic.

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