Score more likes, share one of these…
Amusing Facebook Status Updates:
- I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
- I like to hangout with people that make me forget to look at my phone.
- Alarm clocks should come with sounds like “tiny doll feet scampering into the closet” because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that.
- Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time…..
- okay = Everything’s cool.
okay? = You make no sense.
okay… = You’re creepy.
okayy = I don’t care.
Okay. = I’m pissed off.
- We can talk to astronauts in space perfectly fine, but we lose cell phone reception EVERYWHERE!.
- Computer technology used to be a lot tougher. Back when I was a teenager, mice had balls.
- It would be cool if you heard a thunder bug a few seconds after you saw a lightning bug.
- Too few people spontaneously combust.
- It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.
- Sometimes I order fajitas at a restaurant just to get more attention.
- Tip on getting a raise at work: Every day eat a cup-a-noodle soup for lunch and make sure to mention how you need to save half, because you know you will be hungry tomorrow.
- When you are smart enough to know there is a lesson to learn, but dumb enough to think you’ve already learned it.
- They should change wording on “check engine” light to “this shit’s gonna cost ya”.
- I take the time every night to read Facebook statuses to my children as part of my stay in school campaign.
- It’s all fun and games until you lose your wifi signal.
- Adding “and shit” at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: “I was playing with my bubbles and shit.”
- When people go underwater in movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would survive in that situation. I died in Finding Nemo…
- I’m going to change my name to Benny Fitz…so when people add me on Facebook, it will say;..You are now friends with Benny Fitz.
- Marriage. When dating goes too far.
3D Optical Illusion:
Whoa! Crazy 😛
Dog Gets Excited When Portugal Scores…
Guess he’s a big Soccer fan?