Make it over hump-day, share these…
Clever Status Updates:
- My goal is to be just the right amount of crazy to make everyone else doubt their sanity.
- Women want someone who can make them laugh…and someone who they feel safe with…so basically, a clown ninja.
- Nice try “blocked number”, but I don’t even answer the phone for people I know.
- I’m positive that somewhere out there exists a video montage of me dancing alone in various elevators.
- People are such drama queens with their car horns. It’s like, okay, I get it, I’m going the wrong way on one-way street, chill the eff out.
- “WTF?! OMG… OMFG… YES! YEEEEESSSS!!! YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!” – Guy that discovered bacon
- I can’t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes.
- Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind someone on a stationary bike and pretend you’re angrily chasing them.
- Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
- I went for a run but came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I’m fat and can’t run for more than 2 minutes.
- Chicken pot pie, my 3 favorite things.
- No one is more confident than a drunk girl wearing a guy’s hat sideways.
- When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
3 Year Epic Selfie…
I want that guys life! Feel free to share this amazing video if you’d like.
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