You won’t want to miss this ‘3 Year EPIC Selfie’ Video

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Make it over hump-day, share these…

My goal is to be just the right amount of crazy to make everyone else doubt their sanity.
Women want someone who can make them laugh…and someone who they feel safe with…so basically, a clown ninja.
Nice try “blocked number”, but I don’t even answer the phone for people I know.
I’m positive that somewhere out there exists a video montage of me dancing alone in various elevators.
People are such drama queens with their car horns. It’s like, okay, I get it, I’m going the wrong way on one-way street, chill the eff out.
“WTF?! OMG… OMFG… YES! YEEEEESSSS!!! YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!” – Guy that discovered bacon
I can’t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes.
Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind someone on a stationary bike and pretend you’re angrily chasing them.
Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
I went for a run but came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I’m fat and can’t run for more than 2 minutes.
Chicken pot pie, my 3 favorite things.
No one is more confident than a drunk girl wearing a guy’s hat sideways.
When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.