Spider Farm, Dog Barks, & Top 20 Weekend Status Updates

Make your weekend last longer, share one of these..

Top 20 Weekend Status Updates:

  1. So thankful my childhood was filled with imagination and bruises from playing outside. Instead of apps and how many likes you can get on a selfie.
  2. Remember when our ancestors used to use their mouths to communicate, good times.
  3. If you’re telekinetic and you know it, clap my hands.
  4. You can’t be funny anddddd inspirational. Pick a struggle.
  5. I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping.
  6. The only time I’ve passionately knocked everything off a table was when I was trying to make room for a pizza.
  7. I’m not saying you’re ugly, but if your face was an emoticon, no one would use it.
  8. Watching game shows is like watching porn, you get excited watching someone else get lucky.
  9. I learned all my dance moves from the paternity test episodes of Maury.
  10. Sometimes I wake up grumpy, and other times I just let her sleep.
  11. In our day mom gave us pure uncooked gluten straight from the pan while dad shotgunned cigar smoke up our nostrils with a straw. Wussy kids these days.
  12. Life is short. Buy the damn shoes.
  13. I just need someone to feed me and tell me I’m pretty.
  14. Asking if I’m hungry is like asking if I want money. The answer is always YES.
  15. Exercise? Oh, I thought you said extra fries! No, I’m good.
  16. Is it nap time yet?
  17. Why do I wake up tired and go to bed wide awake?
  18. You live with what you tolerate.
  19. There are people who take the heart out of you, and there are people who put it back.
  20. True friends are those who have nice things to say about you behind your back.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Dog demonstrates how to use your inside voice…

Dogs are so amazing. How in the world did he learn that?!? So amazing 🙂 Feel free to like/share if you enjoyed.

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App. We’ll see you on Monday!