Make your weekend last longer, share one of these..
Top 20 Weekend Status Updates:
- So thankful my childhood was filled with imagination and bruises from playing outside. Instead of apps and how many likes you can get on a selfie.
- Remember when our ancestors used to use their mouths to communicate, good times.
- If you’re telekinetic and you know it, clap my hands.
- You can’t be funny anddddd inspirational. Pick a struggle.
- I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping.
- The only time I’ve passionately knocked everything off a table was when I was trying to make room for a pizza.
- I’m not saying you’re ugly, but if your face was an emoticon, no one would use it.
- Watching game shows is like watching porn, you get excited watching someone else get lucky.
- I learned all my dance moves from the paternity test episodes of Maury.
- Sometimes I wake up grumpy, and other times I just let her sleep.
- In our day mom gave us pure uncooked gluten straight from the pan while dad shotgunned cigar smoke up our nostrils with a straw. Wussy kids these days.
- Life is short. Buy the damn shoes.
- I just need someone to feed me and tell me I’m pretty.
- Asking if I’m hungry is like asking if I want money. The answer is always YES.
- Exercise? Oh, I thought you said extra fries! No, I’m good.
- Is it nap time yet?
- Why do I wake up tired and go to bed wide awake?
- You live with what you tolerate.
- There are people who take the heart out of you, and there are people who put it back.
- True friends are those who have nice things to say about you behind your back.
Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…
What could possibly go wrong?
Posted by Witty Hilarious and Ridiculously Funny Status Updates on Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Dog demonstrates how to use your inside voice…
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nep3jKwVZe8[/youtube]
Dogs are so amazing. How in the world did he learn that?!? So amazing 🙂 Feel free to like/share if you enjoyed.
Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App. We’ll see you on Monday!