Make Hump Day work for you, share these…
Witty Facebook Posts:
- Please don’t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I’m awesome doesn’t mean I like you.
- Spending the rest of my life trying to find someone I love as much as my bed
- If you’re happy and you know it, you’re probably exhausting to be around.
- Bed. You’re either there or you wish you were there.
- I never fell in love before, but I did step in it. It’s hard to wash off.
- According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
- There is no angry way to say ‘bubbles.’
- If I’m ever on life support unplug me and then plug me back in again and see if that works.
- I will not be satisfied until I see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
- My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle.
- My kid is almost old enough for social media so we’ll need to have “the talk” soon… You know, about your/you’re and their/there/they’re.
- Two things I hate: 1) People who form negative opinions of celebrities based only on what they see or hear on TV. 2) Justin Bieber.
- The truth is, I find it very stressful that Smokey thinks that I’m the only one that can prevent forest fires. I don’t feel trained for this, and I certainly didn’t sign up for the position.
- I appreciate the transparency that the Domino’s pizza tracker provides, but updates like “Carl dropped your pizza” and “5 second rule” are a bit much.
- At what point will this meal make me happy, Ronald?
- How could a man who is covered in tattoos be afraid of commitment?
- You know you’re getting old when cops make you feel safe instead of nervous.
- If you think about it, before the first mirror was invented, if you didn’t live near a body of water, you had no idea what you looked like.
- I hate when you tell someone you’re bored, and they suggest getting together. Then you have to explain that you’re not quite that bored.
- There’s both a McDonald’s and a blood pressure machine in this Walmart. Circle of life.
Weatherman reads prank live on air…
That. Was. Hilarious. Wow, he didn’t see that one coming a MILE away. Share if you’d like.
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