Wake Up Owl, Surprised KittEhh, and Status Jokes

Make em’ laugh, share these…

Facebook Status Jokes:

  1. If a guy said he’ll fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
  2. Just being alive gets expensive.
  3. The problem with this generation boils down to: Their cartoons suck.
  4. My tolerance for idiots gets weaker by the day.
  5. Pull over… Your driving skills are so awesome that I want to give you a high five in the face.
  6. Whenever you feel sad just remember that there are billions of cells in your body and all they care about is your well being 🙂
  7. I feel like a text is too serious without an “lol” or “haha” in there somewhere.
  8. Wearing an oversized shirt and no pants is probably the most comfortable thing of life.
  9. That awkward moment when you realize you’ve been pronouncing a word wrong your whole life.
  10. North West: Daddy what were you famous for?
    Kanye: Rapping.
    North West: mommy what were you famous for?
    ((awkward silence))
  11. Best way to get me to listen to you? Tell me you’re from the future.
  12. Connecting all my highlighters together so I can create a poking device to annoy my coworkers across the hall.
  13. I have the worst vision and am wearing contact lenses for the first time. My vision’s gone from YouTube to Blu-Ray.
  14. Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back.
  15. The only “hot action” going on in my bedroom is my laptop burning my skin.
  16. Cheer up! You’re the reason that other people feel better about themselves.
  17. Phone cases are like condoms; you don’t want to, but you kind of have to.
  18. Do you ever just start rubbing your eyes so hard, that you just start entering some new unknown fucking dimension consisting of twists and patterns like you’re on acid or something?
  19. It’s not that I don’t trust people, just to be safe my will has a clause that requires 26 witnesses to confirm I’m not still alive before I’m cremated.
  20. There are commercials in front of online trailers now. So I have to watch a commercial to watch a commercial?

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Funny Status iOS (Just Updated)

Surprised KittEhhhh:

Surprised Kitty

 

Shockingly cute! Share if you <3 it.

Wake Up Mr. Owl:

LOL, hopefully he made a full recovery after that window crashing incident.

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