Make em’ laugh, share these…
Facebook Status Jokes:
- If a guy said he’ll fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
- Just being alive gets expensive.
- The problem with this generation boils down to: Their cartoons suck.
- My tolerance for idiots gets weaker by the day.
- Pull over… Your driving skills are so awesome that I want to give you a high five in the face.
- Whenever you feel sad just remember that there are billions of cells in your body and all they care about is your well being 🙂
- I feel like a text is too serious without an “lol” or “haha” in there somewhere.
- Wearing an oversized shirt and no pants is probably the most comfortable thing of life.
- That awkward moment when you realize you’ve been pronouncing a word wrong your whole life.
- North West: Daddy what were you famous for?
North West: mommy what were you famous for?
- Best way to get me to listen to you? Tell me you’re from the future.
- Connecting all my highlighters together so I can create a poking device to annoy my coworkers across the hall.
- I have the worst vision and am wearing contact lenses for the first time. My vision’s gone from YouTube to Blu-Ray.
- Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back.
- The only “hot action” going on in my bedroom is my laptop burning my skin.
- Cheer up! You’re the reason that other people feel better about themselves.
- Phone cases are like condoms; you don’t want to, but you kind of have to.
- Do you ever just start rubbing your eyes so hard, that you just start entering some new unknown fucking dimension consisting of twists and patterns like you’re on acid or something?
- It’s not that I don’t trust people, just to be safe my will has a clause that requires 26 witnesses to confirm I’m not still alive before I’m cremated.
- There are commercials in front of online trailers now. So I have to watch a commercial to watch a commercial?
Shockingly cute! Share if you <3 it.
Wake Up Mr. Owl:
LOL, hopefully he made a full recovery after that window crashing incident.