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20 Clever Status Updates:
- I don’t always talk on the phone. But when I do, I walk around like an idiot and touch everything in sight.
- My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.
- Couples who communicate over social media make me happy to be single.
- Women overthink to make up for the fact that men don’t think at all.
- That awkward moment when someone is complaining about having to go to a “bad” neighborhood and you realize they mean where you live.
- You’re single? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH me too.
- My co workers put cookies on my desk, like they’re leaving a sacrifice for an angry god.
- If opposites truly attract, the correct life strategy is to be a complete loser.
- Tell me more about this victum role you play due to the circumstances that you’ve created for yourself.
- Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched.
- I’m not opposed to manscaping, but I don’t see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
- Don’t fear the unknown. It may be where your happiness is hiding.
- Kept making the same mistakes in life so I call them traditions now.
- Gently placing your finger on someone’s lips and saying, “Shh, not another word,” is super romantic but cops don’t seem to think so.
- Types Of Nuts:
-boiled
-salted
-roasted
-assorted
-deez - Dear life, when I asked if this day could get any worse, that was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
- Admit it, you’re afraid to text him/her first sometimes because you feel like you’re annoying them.
- My legs look great. Until I sit down and they flatten out to the size of California.
- Shouldn’t atheists type “ong?”
- If you liked “These Boots Are Made for Walkin” youll enjoy other hits like “This Toaster Toasts Things” and “Whats the Phone Number for 911”
Funny Pics | Gifs | Videos | Yesterdays Status Updates
Blinky Thing..
I think we can all relate.
Cat Sings “If you’re happy and you know it”…
If you’re happy and you know it, MEOW! Me-OW! So cute 🙂 share if you enjoyed.
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