Velociraptor Terror, Creative Facebook Statuses, and Shark Watermelon

Get more likes, per status…

Creative Status Ideas:

  1. If you think someone is staring at you: A. Yawn B. If they yawn, they were staring.  (Top-Rated iPhone App: Funny Status ★★★★★ )
  2. Dear eyelashes, wish bones, dandelions, pennies in fountains, shooting stars, 11:11, and birthday candles. YOU FAILED.
  3. Admit it, you have that one voice that you only use on animals and babies.
  4. You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is ‘never try’. -Homer Simpson
  5. Don’t ignore my texts, I know you check your phone 24/7.
  6. There’s always a reason behind a person’s “just wondering”.
  7. Wiz Khalifa looks like the Cheetos guy.
  8. If your kids are being nice… Check the house. Something is broken.
  9. The smartphone has destroyed the “bathroom magazine rack” industry. (Status Received: 156LIKES in 2minutes – Funny Status Fan Page )
  10. Facebook becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do.
  11. The road to success is always under construction.
  12. You cannot talk while inhaling through your nose. LIKE if you tried!
  13. America: Where parents get one day each, and sharks get an entire week.
  14. Taylor Swift’s songs are just 3 minute Facebook Status updates about relationships.
  15. Half a dozen: because “six” is way to long.
  16. My 8 year old self is incredibly excited about the Spice Girls reunion.
  17. One of the biggest fears on ”Facebook” is accidentally using the status update as the search bar. (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  18. Don’t only look forward in life, look around and enjoy the ride. It will never happen again.

A Freakin’ Shark Watermelon:

Shark Watermelon

Well done, bravo. This was created as a tribute to SharkWeek on Discovery. Share this touching tribute with your fellow shark lovers on FB for some quality finned fish conversation. One-click sharing by putting your mouse on the image and clicking ‘click here to share’ – mobile devices save the picture and upload it. [ via imgur ]

Velociraptor terrorizes Montreal mall:

What would you do if you saw that?!?! I’d freak the heck out, just like those people! If you want tons of likes and lots of funny comments share this video with your Facebook friends.

Yesterdays Statuses…