Upside-down Kitty, Yelling Goats, and 20 Nifty Statuses

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20 Nifty Status Updates for Facebook:

  1. You can celebrate Valentine’s Day with your heart, I’ll celebrate with my liver.
  2. 1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance……… The 5 stages of buying gas.
  3. I wonder if there are birds that prefer not to sing in the morning and that just roll around in their nests until noon.
  4. If I procrastinated any harder right now, it would have to involve time travel.
  5. The only thing I know about women is that they have lots of feelings and they’re not afraid to tell you about each and every one of them.
  6. Word of advice: Never trust a person who doesn’t like dogs.
  7. Dear Phone, maybe if you didn’t light up so many damn times telling me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!
  8. If I’m texting you first, you’re doing something right…or you’re hot.
  9. 23 guys did not “like” your picture because your “pretty” they liked it because you’re almost completely naked.
  10. Socializing = Nod. Smile. Ask inane question. Pretend to listen. Repeat.
  11. The older I get, the more I enjoy being bored.
  12. This Valentine’s day, I will confess my feelings for my one and true love…Beer.
  13. Still waiting for that, “bump into the girl of my dreams causing all her stuff to spill” moment.
  14. Facebook etiquette: Thou shall not hold a conversation under someone’s status post.
  15. LIKE if you laugh harder when you try to explain why you’re laughing.
  16. If you storm out on your boyfriend during an argument, remember to grab your phone charger. Having to go back in for it ruins all the drama.
  17. Some women should have their eyeshadow privileges revoked.
  18. I hate when cashiers ask you if that’s everything. Oh no, I’d also like all this invisible shit.
  19. There was a therapist on TV talking about the importance of having a reward system in place for when your child behaves. I remember having that with my parents, it was called “not getting your ass beat”!
  20. Anger is an emotion for people who wish to control others while simultaneously failing to control themselves.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Valentines Day – Timeline Covers

Upside down KitteHhh is confused…

Upside down kitty cat.

If you thought that was cool – try uʍop ǝpısdn status updates 🙂 guaranteed to get a ton of likes!

Goats that Yell Like Humans (Not Kidding)

That was a little bit funny, little scary, and a lot of awesome. Two words… MUST SHARE!

Make sure to stop by tomorrow for a special Valentines Day Status Updates selection 🙂

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