Unluckiest Man Alive (Video), Rebel Friends, and 20 Hilarious Weekend Status Posts

Make your weekend last, share these…

20 Hilarious Weekend Status Updates from Facebook:

1. I truly believe that there are some people who listen to you when you talk and there’s other people who just wait for it to be their turn.
2. One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
3. I don’t know why you girls freak out and run when you see a spider. They are just gonna climb in your mouth when you are sleeping anyways.
4. Women these days…..some of their eyebrows looks like they are sponsored by NIKE.
5. There’s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she’s super hot trip on her high heels.
6. It’s my favorite time of the day: How long can I stare directly at my monitor and do absolutely nothing o’clock.
7. There’s something about having an old friend who knew who you used to be, knows who you are now, and accepts everything you were in between.
8. Can’t believe I was once a child who fought taking naps.
9. The secret to dancing is pretending you have a wedgie and you’re trying to get it unstuck without using you’re hands.
10. You never realize what have till its gone…Toilet paper is a good example of this.
11. I love my relationship with my bed, No commitment needed, We just sleep together every night.
12. How do I gently tell people that I don’t want to speak to their babies on the phone ever again?
13. After 11, please stop counting in months how old your kid is.
14. After I drink coffee I show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I’ve successfully installed Java. He hates me.
15. Airports see more sincere kisses than wedding halls. The walls of hospitals have heard more prayers than the walls of churches.
16. Throw a stranger a surprise party by putting confetti inside their closed umbrella when they’re not looking!
17. Back in my day, we had to remember phone numbers and give people directions and don’t get me started on the dinosaurs.
18. An apple a day is bullshit. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
19. I wish “you dumbass” was an appropriate way to end a work email.
20. I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn’t do anything except send me notices that there’s a new version of itself.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

The Unluckiest (or Luckiest) Man Ever:

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZyUWLW7kEI[/youtube]

Talk about an AMAZING story! I cannot believe he escaped death so many times, can you? Share this craziness if you’d like.