Make your weekend last, share these…
20 Hilarious Weekend Status Updates from Facebook:
- I truly believe that there are some people who listen to you when you talk and there’s other people who just wait for it to be their turn.
- One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
- I don’t know why you girls freak out and run when you see a spider. They are just gonna climb in your mouth when you are sleeping anyways.
- Women these days…..some of their eyebrows looks like they are sponsored by NIKE.
- There’s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she’s super hot trip on her high heels.
- It’s my favorite time of the day: How long can I stare directly at my monitor and do absolutely nothing o’clock.
- There’s something about having an old friend who knew who you used to be, knows who you are now, and accepts everything you were in between.
- Can’t believe I was once a child who fought taking naps.
- The secret to dancing is pretending you have a wedgie and you’re trying to get it unstuck without using you’re hands.
- You never realize what have till its gone…Toilet paper is a good example of this.
- I love my relationship with my bed, No commitment needed, We just sleep together every night.
- How do I gently tell people that I don’t want to speak to their babies on the phone ever again?
- After 11, please stop counting in months how old your kid is.
- After I drink coffee I show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I’ve successfully installed Java. He hates me.
- Airports see more sincere kisses than wedding halls. The walls of hospitals have heard more prayers than the walls of churches.
- Throw a stranger a surprise party by putting confetti inside their closed umbrella when they’re not looking!
- Back in my day, we had to remember phone numbers and give people directions and don’t get me started on the dinosaurs.
- An apple a day is bullshit. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
- I wish “you dumbass” was an appropriate way to end a work email.
- I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn’t do anything except send me notices that there’s a new version of itself.
The Unluckiest (or Luckiest) Man Ever:
Talk about an AMAZING story! I cannot believe he escaped death so many times, can you? Share this craziness if you’d like.