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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
Pretending to care about what the birthday card says, but you really just want the money. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
Facebook = Star Wars, Twitter = Empire Strikes Back, Google+ = Return of the Jedi. MySpace = Stupid prequels.
- I would charge my cellphone more if my cellphone charged me less.
Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
- “I let a fly into the house.” Not to worry, I’ll swat it. “It was a dragonfly.” Then I’ll slay it.
Whenever I delete an app on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel like they’re all panicked over who’s getting axed.
- The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.
- I believe that every person has a story to tell…which is why I stay home. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 70+ LIKES in 46 minutes)
- Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital.
Haters are like crickets. Crickets make a lot of noise, you hear it but you can’t see them. Then right when you walk by them, they’re quiet.
- The first rule of Rule Club is that we talk about the rules. A lot.
That feeling of great relief when you find your cell phone after losing it.
- We need to be more concerned about dinosaur ghosts.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does. (From our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
*1 friend request* (250 mutual friends) “…I still don’t know you lol”
Thousands More Funny Status Updates…
Ha! that one will get a ton of comments/likes!
Funny Video to Post:
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