Dog Plays Pingpong, Relationship Goals, & Top 20 Statuses

From this week around FB…

Top 20 Facebook Statuses:

  1. I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.
  2. My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
  3. 7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10.
  4. There’s no more dangerous entity on earth than a woman with a lot on her mind and nothing to do but think.
  5. Some people have way more dick in their personality than they do in their pants.
  6. Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems. Look for someone who won’t let you face them alone.
  7. Drinking water through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.
  8. Dudes. The most cringeworthy creeper line is: Don’t I get a hug? Stop saying that. We hate it. Good Talk.
  9. I burned my mouth on my pizza and I feel this is a strong metaphor showing me that the ones we love can hurt us the most.
  10. Based on how I react when the toast pops out of the toaster, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
  11. Simmer down joggers running in place at a stop light, simmer down.
  12. I’m trying to save up enough money to one day afford to save up money.
  13. When people say “let’s agree to disagree,” they mean “I’m over talking to you and I still think I’m right and you’re wrong, asshole.”
  14. If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
  15. On the bright side, it’s Friday Eve Eve Eve.
  16. I’ll bet I’m the only one in this grocery with “shit for tacos” on my shopping list.
  17. Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,…Why don’t you ever smile in my pictures?
  18. My boyfriend asked me for anal so I colour coordinated his sock drawer. I know what men want.
  19. Hi, welcome to adulthood! You’ll be constantly tired except for right before you need to go to sleep.
  20. Some days you can’t play the music loud enough.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Dog Plays Pingpong..

How do dogs continually surpass their awesomeness? Dogs are the best! Like/share if you agree.

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