The Thing About November Birthdays, Absurd Cat Noises, and Weekend Status Updates for Facebook

Make your weekend last longer, share one of these…

20 Weekend Status Updates for Facebook:

  1. I just wanna stay home and cuddle my dog.
  2. Beginning to realize that I was probably dropped as a baby.
  3. So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.
  4. If history has taught us anything, it’s that reheated french fries are gross.
  5. If you want to ruin a song forever use it for your alarm.
  6. Later is the best time to do anything.
  7. I’m less needy and more wanty.
  8. Don’t reach for the stars. They are extremely hot and will incinerate you.
  9. My door bell is a recording of a shotgun being racked.
  10. I run the way my love life goes. Slowly and then not at all.
  11. Divorce is what happens when two people win an argument.
  12. Every morning you have a choice: forget your dreams or live them.
  13. Just got your text from last night. Do you still need your EpiPen?
  14. People are always like “if your gonna swear do it correctly” I’m like shit no I won’t. I’ll swear however the damn ass I want. You hell bitch.
  15. It’s season 7 of Sons of Anarchy and still none of them have ever stopped to put gas in their bikes.
  16. Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. I’m gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
  17. Oh, someone just broke your heart? Big deal, I just made a grammatical error on the internet.
  18. Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
  19. People in love use phrases like “takes my breath away” and “swept me off my feet”. I think they’re confusing love with attempted murder.
  20. As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called “Identity Theft”.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Absurd Cat Noises….

I think she forgot how to Cat 😛 As always, please share if you enjoyed.

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