The Mid Week Funny Status Updates

Welcome to Wednesday folks!  Hope you’re having a great week.  Here is what you came here for…

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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• A procrastinator’s work is never done.
• This just in: Jail has been sentenced to 90 days of Lindsay Lohan.
• Who lived in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Squarepants! Who died in an oil spill because of BP? (from our FB Fan Page)
• Why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it.
• I’m starting to think that I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample, there was an olive was in it.
• I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
• Lite: the new way to spell “Light,” now with 20% fewer letters!