Updated Daily, just for you…
20 Damn Funny Facebook Status Updates:
- Cleavage is the only thing that you can look down on and approve of at the same time.
- Don’t trade what you want most for what you want now.
- I’m beginning to realize that some people must actually enjoy being miserable.
- I hate it when my boss calls my name and I automatically think “What the hell did I do now?”
- Unspoken Rule #54. Let everyone get off the elevator before you start trying to get on. I am tired of almost running into you. Same goes for busses!
- Let your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile.
- Lesson #1. Only trust people who like big butts… They cannot lie. #TRUTH
- I get in this weird mood where I don’t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood ‘Awake’
- Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
- My day so far: 1) Jumped out of bed 2) Cooked breakfast 3) Ran 6 miles 4) Worked out 5) Started lying compulsively
- Dear small line of dirt that wont go in the dustpan… Screw you.
- My kid’s teacher told me my kid is obsessed with video games and that I need to work with her on it. I’m like I do. I’m player 2.
- I am waiting for the day that Walmart decides to put a bar in their stores. That’ll take people watching to the next level.
- We are hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can’t come, let me know.
- Hey, remember that person you thought you couldn’t live without? Well, look at you, living and shit.
- I may be asking too much of this coffee.
- Don’t judge me…If you’re reading this then you aren’t working either.
- Don’t confuse having less with being less, having more with being more, or what you have with who you are.
- The person trying hardest to get into my pants is me. Damn Easter candy.
- Nothing can destroy your self-esteem quicker than when someone points out someone they think looks like you.
KittEhhhh is Stuck in the Slammer:
Doing hard time is rough these days.
Duck Dynasty says NOPE to Technology:
We can all scale back just a tad on our technology use 🙂 And I think we’ll be just fine! This video, however, is a classic.