Make your friends laugh, share these…
22 Clever Facebook Statuses:
- Sometimes, when I feel optimistic about the future of mankind, I go read the comments on YouTube and it brings me right back to reality.
- Common Sense isn’t a gift. It’s punishment…because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.
- I plan on using a treasure map as my will.
- If you see me smiling in public it means I’m laughing at the jokes I tell myself in my head.
- I’m beginning to think the only real committed men are the ones who are institutionalized.
- At one point in your life you either have the thing you want or the reasons why you don’t.
- Success consists of doing the common things of life uncommonly well.
- I don’t tell lies, just fiction short stories.
- Everyone has that one ex they don’t want the world to know they ever dated.
- person: how long does it take to get there?
me: 3 songs
- Have you ever been so hungry you accidentally called someone sandwich?
- Ladies, I’d like to remind you that trying to play “hard to get” doesn’t work when you’re already “hard to want”.
- The good thing about being 6′ 6″ is that if I develop a bald patch, no one will see it..Unless you’re using Google Earth.
- Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
- You know what’s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
- One hair on your head is not enough…but one hair in your food is too much.
- We have 171 friends in common and I still have no idea who the hell you are.
- I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
- A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet, but I can only walk so fast.
- No thanks CVS, I don’t need a bag. I’ll just wrap up my purchase in the 12 foot receipt you just gave me.
- I just discovered my oven CAN CLEAN ITSELF! Naturally I will be searching my apartment looking for similar buttons.
- I love you but, when you chew like a cow I just want to slap you in the face.
Taylor Swift Attacked at the Grammys:
LOL! That was hilarious 🙂 Share if you enjoyed.