Taylor Swift Attacked, Pro Parenting, & 22 Clever Statuses

Make your friends laugh, share these…

22 Clever Facebook Statuses:

1. Sometimes, when I feel optimistic about the future of mankind, I go read the comments on YouTube and it brings me right back to reality.
2. Common Sense isn’t a gift. It’s punishment…because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.
3. I plan on using a treasure map as my will.
4. If you see me smiling in public it means I’m laughing at the jokes I tell myself in my head.
5. I’m beginning to think the only real committed men are the ones who are institutionalized.
6. At one point in your life you either have the thing you want or the reasons why you don’t.
7. Success consists of doing the common things of life uncommonly well.
8. I don’t tell lies, just fiction short stories.
9. Everyone has that one ex they don’t want the world to know they ever dated.
10. person: how long does it take to get there?
    me: 3 songs
11. Have you ever been so hungry you accidentally called someone sandwich?
12. Ladies, I’d like to remind you that trying to play “hard to get” doesn’t work when you’re already “hard to want”.
13. The good thing about being 6′ 6″ is that if I develop a bald patch, no one will see it..Unless you’re using Google Earth.
14. Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
15. You know what’s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
16. One hair on your head is not enough…but one hair in your food is too much.
17. We have 171 friends in common and I still have no idea who the hell you are.
18. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
19. A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet, but I can only walk so fast.
20. No thanks CVS, I don’t need a bag. I’ll just wrap up my purchase in the 12 foot receipt you just gave me.
21. I just discovered my oven CAN CLEAN ITSELF! Naturally I will be searching my apartment looking for similar buttons.
22. I love you but, when you chew like a cow I just want to slap you in the face.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Taylor Swift Attacked at the Grammys:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4luHEVjqKA[/youtube]

LOL! That was hilarious 🙂 Share if you enjoyed.