Tap Dancing Seagull, Smart Dog, and Status Quotes

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Facebook Status Quotes:

1. When I see somebody get on one knee tying their shoe in public I get in front of them, happy cry, and say “Oh my GOD, I will, YES-YESS!”
2. My hobbies include eating and complaining that I’m getting fat.
3. When I die I want someone to play that little death jingle from Mario Bros at my funeral.
4. They say if you meet an idiot in the morning, and later on in the afternoon you meet another idiot, then in the evening you run into yet another idiot….. chances are, you’re the idiot.
5. I love how some of you judge the people that are shopping at Wal-Mart while shopping at Wal-Mart.
6. *avoids showering because hair looks too good to ruin yet*
7. Don’t worry about people who talk behind your back..they’re behind you for a reason.
8. If Sarcasm was considered a foreign language, I would have tested out of it in high school.
9. Remember reading books because of Pizza Hut?
10. Everyone has that one friend that can’t drive for crap.
11. Top 10 reasons why I’m lazy:
    1.
12. People with a sense of humor are so much easier to talk to.
13. I want to come back as the .1% of germs and bacteria that nothing can kill…
14. Fake friends are like shadows, always near you at your brightest moments, but nowhere to be seen at your darkest hours.
15. I wish my mind had a delete button.
16. If she doesn’t have any of your hoodies, you’re doing it wrong.
17. I love when people cut me off because they’re in a rush, then I pull up next to them at the same red light.
18. Forgive but never forget sounds a lot like never forgiving.
19. I didn’t trip, I just attacked the floor with my mad ninja skills.
20. Rejection doesn’t hurt, expectation does. Lie doesn’t kill, denial does. “Forget” doesn’t heal, “forgive” does.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Funny Status iOS (Just Updated)

Smart Doggie:

Everyone knows all the super smart doggies wear glasses!

Tap Dancing Seagull:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8pwrjYsyVs[/youtube]

Talk about a natural born performer! Bravo! Encore, Encore 🙂 Share if you enjoyed.