Score some likes, share these…
Great Statuses for Facebook:
- That awkward moment when you’re that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single.
- “Is it food time yet?” = The summarization of most of my thoughts.
- Things you can say when you have nothing to say: 1. It is what it is 2. It’s just not meant to be 3. Everything happens for a reason 4. Word
- Dear those people who use their cellphones as a personal stereo in public, stop it. Sincerely, Everybody.
- Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.
- I’m not shy. I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
- When I’m sad I just sing, and then I realize my voice is worse than my problems.
- My mother just learned how to put emoticons in her texts and now it’s like trying to read hieroglyphics
- What did things taste like before there were chickens?
- Was just thinking …. What would the world be like if McDonalds delivered?
- You’re nice to the weird kid once, and then BOOM. Stalked for life.
- It takes about 2.9 seconds for me to go from “this is the best day ever” to “I want to stab every person on planet Earth.”
- I have a bad habit of laughing at inappropriate moments.
- My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it’s there to stab potential taco thieves.
- At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
- The Internet is making us all smarter and stupider at the same time.
- Relationship status: DTF
- If you ever get caught sleeping on the job… slowly raise your head and say “in Jesus name amen”
- The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
- Leaving me a 3 minute voicemail is unnecessary.
Warning: Do not attempt! That looks so terrifyingly adorable. That being said, I’d love to kiss a lion. If it wasn’t for their massive teeth and meat paws.
Talking Baby Otter:
That’s exactly how I Imagine Otters talk. Hopefully they have a little secret otter language that we can speak one day.