Talking Otter, Lion Kiss, and Great Statuses

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Great Statuses for Facebook:

  1. That awkward moment when you’re that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single.
  2. “Is it food time yet?” = The summarization of most of my thoughts.
  3. Things you can say when you have nothing to say: 1. It is what it is 2. It’s just not meant to be 3. Everything happens for a reason 4. Word
  4. Dear those people who use their cellphones as a personal stereo in public, stop it. Sincerely, Everybody.
  5. Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.
  6. I’m not shy. I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
  7. When I’m sad I just sing, and then I realize my voice is worse than my problems.
  8. My mother just learned how to put emoticons in her texts and now it’s like trying to read hieroglyphics
  9. What did things taste like before there were chickens?
  10. Was just thinking …. What would the world be like if McDonalds delivered?
  11. You’re nice to the weird kid once, and then BOOM. Stalked for life.
  12. It takes about 2.9 seconds for me to go from “this is the best day ever” to “I want to stab every person on planet Earth.”
  13. I have a bad habit of laughing at inappropriate moments.
  14. My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it’s there to stab potential taco thieves.
  15. At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
  16. The Internet is making us all smarter and stupider at the same time.
  17. Relationship status: DTF
  18. If you ever get caught sleeping on the job… slowly raise your head and say “in Jesus name amen”
  19. The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
  20. Leaving me a 3 minute voicemail is unnecessary.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Lion Kiss:

Lion Smooch

Warning: Do not attempt! That looks so terrifyingly adorable. That being said, I’d love to kiss a lion. If it wasn’t for their massive teeth and meat paws.

Talking Baby Otter:

That’s exactly how I Imagine Otters talk. Hopefully they have a little secret otter language that we can speak one day.

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