Surprise KittEh, Dog Ambulance, and Clever Statuses for the Weekend.

Make the weekend last longer, share these…

20 Clever Facebook Statuses for the Weekend:

  1. Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up? in thirty minutes? in 3 hours? in 9 years?? no one can be sure.
  2. Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
  3. It’s crazy how nicely the people of different countries get along with each other, without their politicians screwing things up horribly.
  4. The USA declared war on terror and drugs and there is more drugs and terror now. Next we should declare war on jobs and money, just saying.
  5. Sorry I pissed you off, but I find you much more entertaining this way.
  6. Never send in a beer to do the work of a tequila shot.
  7. I’d like to hang out, but that would get in the way of me being home and doing absolutely nothing.
  8. That awkward moment when you didn’t notice I spelt awkward wrong… No I didn’t, but you checked before reading this didn’t you?
  9. The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.
  10. Why is it that when ever you smell somethin funny in your car, the first thing you do is turn down the radio?
  11. Everyone should have a drag queen level of self-confidence.
  12. The best password cracking software is called a pissed off ex.
  13. Back in my day, we didn’t have Instagram. We had to bore people in person with photo albums.
  14. Be that Shopping Cart with the bad wheel. Go in your own direction no matter how hard someone try’s to push you in theirs.
  15. Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
  16. It’s amazing how the lowly potato gives us potato chips, french fries, and vodka. Get your shit together, every other vegetable.
  17. If the voices in my head had a British accent I would listen to them more often.
  18. I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
  19. During the stone age, long before Facebook, man was already experiencing the desire to express on a wall what he had eaten.
  20. If your cat really loved you it would be a dog.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

KittEh sez Surprise…

I like how they just reset when it’s done.

Dog Thinks He’s an Ambulance…

Nice impression, puppy!

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Please check back on Monday for more funny status updates!