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20 EPIC Facebook Statuses
- We live in a society that’s the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
- I wish the Microsoft Paperclip would just pop up when I’m making a questionable decision for my life.
- Sure, I would say I’m attractive. Mostly to cats, and sometimes birds.
- Is anyone going to tell America’s Funniest Home Videos about youtube?
- It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Except when you’re heading to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea.
- I sometimes pretend to have Insomnia, when really I just have no respect for tomorrow.
- I hate that “I know I forgot something” feeling.
- My music taste ranges from “You need to listen to this now” to “I know, please don’t judge me”.
- I’m not weird.
I’m a limited edition.
- I’m nervous about doing this cleanse, I’m worried that after I flush all the toxins out of my body there won’t be anything left.
- Be careful who you trust, the devil was once an angel.
- No matter what you do on the computer you always end up on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Youtube.
- Do you ever look through old pictures and wonder, “Where the hell did that shirt go?”
- Congrats on your secret admirer! Must be nice having someone who’s ashamed to admit they like you!
- Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible.
- Cold weather can trick your body into missing someone who’s terrible for you.
- “Do you have a charger?” is the new “Could I bum a cigarette?”
- Don’t worry if you had a bad day, remember there are people who have their ex’s name tattooed.
- The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life.
- I hope they never charge money to charge your phone. I’d probably spend my last $5 on that, rather than food or gas.
Fighter Fly-By is a little too close:
Not sure if that’s Grand Theft Auto or real life, LOL!
Super Cool Commercial…
That is why Dogs are awesome 🙂 Cute commercial!