Stretching Kitten, Goat Chicken, and Top 20 Weekend Status Posts

Make someone smile, pick one of these and share it!

Top 20 Weekend Status Posts:

  1. That awkward moment when someone’s zipper is open and you don’t know if you should tell them. They’d wonder why you were looking that low.
  2. Beer comes from hops. Hops are plants. Beer is salad.
  3. The older I get, the more I come to realize that I just don’t care what the hell anyone thinks.
  4. OMG this is Freaky! Have 8 beers & 3 shots, go to your phone the next day, press ‘Recently Dialed’ & the name of your crush will appear!
  5. Having long hair is the most annoying and wonderful thing ever.
  6. Sorry I kept stopping erratically. I was pumping SCREW YOU in Morse Code with my brake lights.
  7. Spending the rest of my life trying to find someone I love as much as my bed.
  8. Do you guys ever just stare into the sunset and think: I locked the door, right?
  9. It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.
  10. Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
  11. Be yourself, you already have the costume.
  12. Whenever I lock a car up I always press the button twice in a row to let all nearby thieves know that I mean business.
  13. Whenever I feel that someone is about to sneeze I yell “PIKA!” & they’re like “CHU!”. I don’t have any friends.
  14. After a long weekend without your phone, you learn what’s really important in life. Your phone.
  15. It’s always a special moment when you finally get to hear those three words you’ve been waiting for……. “Your order’s ready.”
  16. The Super Mario running-out-of-time music plays in my head as the long weekend comes to an end.
  17. Empty your medicine cabinet and put another mirror in there. Scares the hell out of snooping house guests.
  18. When the zombie apocalypse happens, I’m going to blast Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”, while the zombies chase us, just to lighten the mood.
  19. We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.
  20. Just saw a tractor trailer on its side nursing a litter of smart cars….

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Adorable Stretching Kitten:

Allow me to be the first to say, DAWWWWwwwwwwwwww.

Goat thinks it’s a Chicken:

That’s one confused goat 😛 Share if you enjoyed.

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Please check back on Monday for more funny status updates!