Make someone smile, pick one of these and share it!
Top 20 Weekend Status Posts:
- That awkward moment when someone’s zipper is open and you don’t know if you should tell them. They’d wonder why you were looking that low.
- Beer comes from hops. Hops are plants. Beer is salad.
- The older I get, the more I come to realize that I just don’t care what the hell anyone thinks.
- OMG this is Freaky! Have 8 beers & 3 shots, go to your phone the next day, press ‘Recently Dialed’ & the name of your crush will appear!
- Having long hair is the most annoying and wonderful thing ever.
- Sorry I kept stopping erratically. I was pumping SCREW YOU in Morse Code with my brake lights.
- Spending the rest of my life trying to find someone I love as much as my bed.
- Do you guys ever just stare into the sunset and think: I locked the door, right?
- It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.
- Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
- Be yourself, you already have the costume.
- Whenever I lock a car up I always press the button twice in a row to let all nearby thieves know that I mean business.
- Whenever I feel that someone is about to sneeze I yell “PIKA!” & they’re like “CHU!”. I don’t have any friends.
- After a long weekend without your phone, you learn what’s really important in life. Your phone.
- It’s always a special moment when you finally get to hear those three words you’ve been waiting for……. “Your order’s ready.”
- The Super Mario running-out-of-time music plays in my head as the long weekend comes to an end.
- Empty your medicine cabinet and put another mirror in there. Scares the hell out of snooping house guests.
- When the zombie apocalypse happens, I’m going to blast Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”, while the zombies chase us, just to lighten the mood.
- We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.
- Just saw a tractor trailer on its side nursing a litter of smart cars….
Adorable Stretching Kitten:
Allow me to be the first to say, DAWWWWwwwwwwwwww.
Goat thinks it’s a Chicken:
That’s one confused goat 😛 Share if you enjoyed.