Pet Affection, Dog Sings, & 20 Facebook Status Funnies

Get over hump day, share one of these..

20 Facebook Status Funnies:

  1. I should eat more healthy, but we all saw how that whole apple thing went for Adam & Eve.
  2. If I drove a fire breathing dragon instead of a car, I wouldn’t spend so much time stuck in traffic.
  3. You never realize how ugly you are until you sit in front of the mirror at the hairdressers.
  4. That moment when you’re home along, hear a noise, and just accept that you’re going to die.
  5. Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
  6. My hairstyle is called “I tried”
  7. If it has tires or testicles, it’s gonna give you trouble.
  8. When a woman says, “Do whatever you want,” by NO means should you do whatever you want.
  9. Is it possible to get a piece of hair out of your mouth without looking like a total idiot?
  10. The messy bun and sweatshirt look works for most girls. For me, it looks like I’ve tried all the drugs.
  11. I keep losing things at work… my glasses, my keys, my wallet, my will to live.
  12. If Kanye West were to win Album of the Year over Beyonce, would he have to interrupt himself?
  13. The boy scouts should sell jerky door to door. I would get excited about that.
  14. When you get to a certain age you’re sneaking a glance at her ring finger, not her boobs.
  15. Brazilian sounds like a really big number.
  16. If sea creatures are hurt, I wonder if the salt in their wounds burns so much…
  17. I gave my cat a middle name today, so she knows when she is really in trouble.
  18. I can’t help thinking that most people are annoying.
  19. That awkward moment when you have to get over someone you never even dated.
  20. If you make something easier for yourself they call you lazy. If you make something easier for everyone else they call you a genius.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

German Shepard Sings Adam Levine..

He sings better than me! Pls feel free to like/share if you want.

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