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20 Cool Facebook Statuses:
- One day my fridge will take revenge on me by opening my bedroom door every half hour, staring at me for a few minutes and then leave.
- If one door closes & another door opens, you’re probably in prison.
- I don’t need to flirt, I will seduce you with my awkwardness.
- Street Smart…that’s something dumb people say when they want to use the word “smart” to describe themselves.
- Out of all the lies I’ve told, “just kidding” is my favorite.
- I wish I was a cat because the fatter you are the more people like you.
- DO NOT GET A CRUSH EVER THEY CALL IT A CRUSH CAUSE IT CRUSHES UR SOUL AND EVERYTHING U STAND FOR.
- If school isn’t a place to sleep, then home isn’t a place to study.
- My relationship status: Waiting for a miracle.
- When I was younger I used to draw the sun in the corner of the paper. ALWAYS.
- Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.
- Pretty cool how the internet lets you stay connected with people you haven’t seen in years and silently judge them on a daily basis.
- I don’t have health insurance, but I do have car insurance. So whenever I get sick I just go crash my car into a tree.
- Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.
- My hobbies include working out, staying fit, eating healthy, and lying.
- Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you’re nuts.
- No one thinks the screenshot of your text messages are as funny as you do. No one.
- The ugliness of your heart will always shift to your face.
- Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman’s mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. Time.
- Why is Facebook such a hit? It works on the principle that ‘People are more interested in others life than their own’.
That reaction was perfect. What a ridiculous kitty.
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