Make Monday count, share one of these…
Sharp Facebook Statuses (20)
- If you don’t put your leftovers in Tupperware for at least two weeks before throwing them in the trash, you’re doing it wrong.
- Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it.
- There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.
- It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than figure out how to limit their access to your Facebook page.
- Caller ID should be more detailed~ “Wants Help Moving” “Going to Whine” “Will Ask to Borrow Money”
- However lonely you feel, you’re never alone… [There are literally millions of bugs, mites, and bacteria living in your house.] Enjoy 🙂
- I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.
- I’m running out of unproductive things to do at work.
- Why can’t things be simple like they use to be? I show you a bug I found we share a snack pack and then you’re my girlfriend.
- You know you’re stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.
- He said “Your obsession with cats is out of control. I can’t handle it anymore.” She cried, “You’re kicking meeeowt?”
- They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you. But mine just points and laughs.
- We have nothing to fear except fear itself and toddlers asking “Why?”.
- Beware of half truths… you may get the wrong half.
- The recipe said “Set the oven to 180 degrees,” so I did, but now I can’t open it because the door faces the wall.
- Just so we’re clear on this, wait for me to dip then you dip then we both dip.
- Having a mohawk used to mean you were tough. Now it means you’re a 3 year-old with annoying parents.
- Me: *does weird things when home alone*
Me: I bet there’s hidden cameras
- You don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly.
- Stressed, depressed, and too poor to be well dressed.
Little Girl Sings Alphabet and then this happens…
Dawwwwwwww, Cookie Monster isn’t a letter of the alphabet! Love that ending 🙂