Song Lyrics, Cookie Monster, and Sharp Status Updates

Make Monday count, share one of these…

Sharp Facebook Statuses (20)

  1. If you don’t put your leftovers in Tupperware for at least two weeks before throwing them in the trash, you’re doing it wrong.
  2. Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it.
  3. There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.
  4. It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than figure out how to limit their access to your Facebook page.
  5. Caller ID should be more detailed~ “Wants Help Moving” “Going to Whine” “Will Ask to Borrow Money”
  6. However lonely you feel, you’re never alone… [There are literally millions of bugs, mites, and bacteria living in your house.] Enjoy 🙂
  7. I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.
  8. I’m running out of unproductive things to do at work.
  9. Why can’t things be simple like they use to be? I show you a bug I found we share a snack pack and then you’re my girlfriend.
  10. You know you’re stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.
  11. He said “Your obsession with cats is out of control. I can’t handle it anymore.” She cried, “You’re kicking meeeowt?”
  12. They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you. But mine just points and laughs.
  13. We have nothing to fear except fear itself and toddlers asking “Why?”.
  14. Beware of half truths… you may get the wrong half.
  15. The recipe said “Set the oven to 180 degrees,” so I did, but now I can’t open it because the door faces the wall.
  16. Just so we’re clear on this, wait for me to dip then you dip then we both dip.
  17. Having a mohawk used to mean you were tough. Now it means you’re a 3 year-old with annoying parents.
  18. Me: *does weird things when home alone*
    Me: I bet there’s hidden cameras
  19. You don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly.
  20. Stressed, depressed, and too poor to be well dressed.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Little Girl Sings Alphabet and then this happens…

Dawwwwwwww, Cookie Monster isn’t a letter of the alphabet! Love that ending 🙂

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