Make Monday fun, share these…
20 Hilarious Facebook Statuses:
- That awkward moment when you realize you probably shouldn’t have told someone something.
- Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in. Those inside are desperate to get out.
- The only time I put my phone down is when it rings.
- Must be lonely over there on “I’m offended by jokes” island.
- If you’re going to make everyone sit at the light as you walk across the street at least do some cartwheels, finger pistols, twerk, SOMETHING.
- Just ONCE I’d like someone to call me “sir” without adding “this is a place of business, please put your pants back on.”
- There should be an observation deck at Walmart.
- You’ve got roughly .003 seconds after the cashier gives you your change to clear out before the person behind you wants to set you on fire.
- Be good enough to forgive someone, but don’t be stupid enough to trust them again.
- Friendship is so weird.. you just pick a human you’ve met and you’re like “yup I like this one” and you do stuff with them.
- The thing about voicemails is don’t.
- People who have more than 10 items in the express line… We see you and we are judging you.
- That awkward moment when you leave a store but don’t buy anything, and you’re telling yourself, “act natural, you’re innocent.”
- The best things in life are the ones that are impossible to explain to other people.
- When I see ‘Please drink responsibly’ I assume they mean ‘Don’t spill this booze, it’s delicious.’
- The good thing about listening to a new song is that it doesn’t remind you of anyone.
- What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ”K” instead of ”OK”?
- Couples Halloween costumes always end up looking like one person went along with it to save the relationship.
- Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but you’re on Facebook instead.
- Hearing “I miss you” from the right person is a great feeling.
Nothing quite like a Sloth to make your Monday better 🙂
Well that escalated quickly. Leave it to the Russians!