Smiley Dog, Michael Jackson Impersonation, and Rad Status Updates

Make your friends smile, share these…

Rad Statuses:

  1. My brain has too many tabs open.
  2. I like you because you join in on my weirdness.
  3. Ugly Christmas Sweaters need love too.
  4. It’s the holidays! Embrace your inner alcoholic fat ass!
  5. If i didn’t drink, how would my friends know I loved them at 2AM?
  6. I’m not flirting. I’m just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive. 😉
  7. It’s funny how if u get an A on a test, ur grade goes up like 2 percent, but if u get an F on a test, your grade goes down like the Titanic.
  8. Care less and you’ll stress less.
  9. I would like to thank my legs for always supporting me.
  10. I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.
  11. I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex.
    I know I’m better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
  12. Cop: You been drinking? Me: No. Cop: Say the alphabet backwards. Me: Alphabet the. Cop: Hilarious. Say each letter. Me: Each letter.
  13. Do angry people know about naps?
  14. I don’t want to rule the world… Just everything within a hundred square mile radius.
  15. I can’t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes.
  16. Free samples shouldn’t be limited to ice cream stores. How can I be sure this fifth of Vodka is worth the 6 dollars without a quick chug?
  17. When I see a bumper sticker that says “Bring home the Troops”, I mentally finish the sentence with “then send in the Ninjas”.
  18. “No offense” means “I’m about to insult you, but don’t get mad.
  19. Remember Limewire? Ah, the days of free music.
  20. Who wants to do something we will regret in the morning? Anyone?

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Best Stocking Stuffer Under $25

Smiling Doggie…

dog is smiling

Dat Smile!

Kid NAILS Michael Jackson Impersonation…

Well played, Kid! That was pretty spot-on.

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