Smart Status Updates for Everyone

We’ve got some Funny Status Updates and Smart Jokes for Smart People…

Funny Status Updates:

  • Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • Cheated on Facebook with my real life today.
  • I know you look at the toilet paper after you wipe.
  • Has anyone else noticed mirrors look really sexy?
  • If you see a profile pic with 1 fat girl and 1 pretty girl and can’t figure out who’s profile it is, make no mistakes… it’s the fat one’s.
  • The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
  • I hope if I ever get taken in for questioning there’s no algebra.
  • I wouldn’t be so scared of spiders if they were wearing tiny shoes. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Ugh I have to write an autobiography?? STORY OF MY LIFE.
  • Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
  • I envy how comfortable Waldo always seems in large crowds.
  • “Well, very clearly cats were sacred to them.” – Archeologist who discovers the Internet
  • Be a Minimalist. It’s the least you can do.
  • I sure do feel a lot more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym.
  • Remember when you had to go to channel 3 to play video games?
  • Well, I guess these margaritas aren’t going to regret themselves… (VIA our Tweeter:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  • Didn’t support the troops, saw a bumper sticker, now do.

National Geographic gets hip:

National Geographic Angry Birds

Epic Link of the Day: Crazy Awesome Pencil Art Meets Photography.

Crazy Japanese Ghost Prank:


How will your Facebook Friends react to being pranked like that?  Post that funny video on your wall and watch the hilarious comments fly in!

Want more funny status updates, hilarious pics, and epic videos?  “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!