Sleepy Doggie, Beer Scooter, & Facebook Statuses

Great Statuses for every occasion…

Facebook Status Updates:

  • People who investigate strange noises in horror movies deserve to die. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
  • I couldn’t care less, but I’m working on it.
  • Judging by the hair on the furniture, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.
  • I’m willing to put in longer hours at work. As long as they’re lunch hours.
  • Great news! I’m declaring a national strike. Nobody go to work.
  • If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be “bad at following directions”. (111+Likes in 7minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • At the Pentagon, there are five sides to every story.
  • I don’t take drugs – I’m not even an athlete.
  • The awkward moment when someone tells you how much they hate someone, and then the next day they’re best friends.
  • I had some words with my wife and she had some paragraphs with me.
  • I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I’ve never driven a bus before.
  • Whoever said “nothing is impossible” has obviously never seen me doing nothing.
  • I’ve reached the age where birthdays just aren’t what they used to be. You know… fun.
  • If a double dip recession is so bad, why did they make it sound so delicious?  (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
  • Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped.
Thousands More EPIC Status Updates…

Sleepy dog is sooo sleepy….

Sleepy Dog

Awww, how adorable! That one is sure to get you tons of LIKEs & Comments!

Meanwhile in Germany:


I WANT ONE! And I bet your Facebook Friends do too. Post that to your wall for some interesting insights.

Want more funny status updates, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our awesome Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from!