Great Statuses for every occasion…
Facebook Status Updates:
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People who investigate strange noises in horror movies deserve to die. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
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Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
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I couldn’t care less, but I’m working on it.
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Judging by the hair on the furniture, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.
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I’m willing to put in longer hours at work. As long as they’re lunch hours.
- Great news! I’m declaring a national strike. Nobody go to work.
- If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be “bad at following directions”. (111+Likes in 7minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
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At the Pentagon, there are five sides to every story.
- I don’t take drugs – I’m not even an athlete.
- The awkward moment when someone tells you how much they hate someone, and then the next day they’re best friends.
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I had some words with my wife and she had some paragraphs with me.
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I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I’ve never driven a bus before.
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Whoever said “nothing is impossible” has obviously never seen me doing nothing.
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I’ve reached the age where birthdays just aren’t what they used to be. You know… fun.
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If a double dip recession is so bad, why did they make it sound so delicious? (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
- Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped.
Thousands More EPIC Status Updates…
Sleepy dog is sooo sleepy….
Awww, how adorable! That one is sure to get you tons of LIKEs & Comments!
Meanwhile in Germany:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Fqpp-IAXF0[/youtube]
I WANT ONE! And I bet your Facebook Friends do too. Post that to your wall for some interesting insights.
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