Skinny Friend, Facebook IQ Test, and 20 Whimsical Status Posts

Happy Monday, pick one that fits and share away….

20 Whimsical Facebook Status Posts:

  1. We’re all brave until we realize the cockroach has wings.
  2. The challenge of modern relationships: how to prove more interesting than the other’s smartphone.
  3. It’s nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he’s getting hit by a train.
  4. The first assembly instruction for all IKEA furniture should be open 1 beer.
  5. I live for those really small but special moments in life, like when I see the waiter bringing my food to the table.
  6. If a case of the claps spreads, would it then be considered an outbreak of the applause?
  7. Do you have some of those friends where you can’t even remember how you became friends you just suddenly were friends?
  8. If there is a wrong place and a wrong time, I’ll be there.
  9. Does anyone really believe Bobby Brown even knew what a prerogative was?
  10. I’m single but it’s serious.
  11. Pharrell ruined happiness as an emotion for me.
  12. Eating fruit flavored candy doesn’t count as eating healthy.
  13. You should always love a woman for her personality. We have so many to choose from.
  14. Do you ever leave your phone for like an hour and expect to come back to like 60 texts but you get none? Yeah same.
  15. I wanna be the reason you slightly tilt your phone away from others when you read it.
  16. Facebook, it’s not “people you may know” …it’s “people I’m deliberately not friends with.”
  17. I eat because keeping food in my mouth is the only way to keep the sarcastic comments from coming out.
  18. Can’t wait till I’m old and I can play the ‘fall asleep’ card in awkward situations.
  19. I’m just going to put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
  20. I could really use a basket full of puppies right about now.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

The Reality of the Facebook IQ Test (NSWF – Language)

There, now you know it’s BS. I saved you 5 minutes!

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