Silly Status Updates that will get you LIKES

Funny Status Updates that will get you likes…

  • Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
  • Changed all my passwords to “incorrect” . So my computer just tells me when I forget.
  • I’m tired of being dissed by automated restroom paper towel dispensers. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • In my experience, less than 40% of people wearing “Duke” sweatshirts are actual dukes.
  • “I’ve had enough of your crap” ~ toilet paper on strike.
  • Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
  • I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.
  • Cops: “Please step out of the car” Me: “I can’t. I’m drunk. You get in.”
  • Marriage means commitment. So does insanity. Coincidence?
  • You’re only young once. If you act like a fool after that, you’re gonna need a new excuse.
  • I won’t rest until I find a cure for Insomnia.
  • Q: How many bears would Bear Grylls grill, if Bear Grylls could grill bears? A: As many bears as Bear Grylls’ grill can bear.
  • It’d be pretty messed up if the cure for cancer was in those end-slices of bread.
  • When I meet a celebrity I like to bring a ceiling fan with me so I can be all “Nice to meet you. Big fan”.
Funny Tweet of the Day: Wouldn’t it be weird if you met someone from twitter in real life and all they did is say random one-liners every few minutes?

Funny Picture to Post:

hilarious rollercoaster pictures

Epic roller coaster Jenga.

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