Funny Status Updates that will get you likes…
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Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
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Changed all my passwords to “incorrect” . So my computer just tells me when I forget.
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I’m tired of being dissed by automated restroom paper towel dispensers. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
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In my experience, less than 40% of people wearing “Duke” sweatshirts are actual dukes.
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“I’ve had enough of your crap” ~ toilet paper on strike.
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Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
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I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.
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Cops: “Please step out of the car” Me: “I can’t. I’m drunk. You get in.”
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Marriage means commitment. So does insanity. Coincidence?
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You’re only young once. If you act like a fool after that, you’re gonna need a new excuse.
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I won’t rest until I find a cure for Insomnia.
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Q: How many bears would Bear Grylls grill, if Bear Grylls could grill bears? A: As many bears as Bear Grylls’ grill can bear.
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It’d be pretty messed up if the cure for cancer was in those end-slices of bread.
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When I meet a celebrity I like to bring a ceiling fan with me so I can be all “Nice to meet you. Big fan”.
Funny Tweet of the Day: Wouldn’t it be weird if you met someone from twitter in real life and all they did is say random one-liners every few minutes?
Funny Picture to Post:
Epic roller coaster Jenga.
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Funny Video to Post:
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGcPRfPtjYo[/youtube]
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