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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
- Have they invented a cure for mornings yet? (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
Life is like a sports car: It goes too fast, and it costs too much.
- I saw a sign on the door of a Wal-Mart that said “It is illegal to set off fireworks inside the building.” I really wish I had been there on the day they decided it was necessary to post that.
You can send a message around the world in 1/7 of a second; yet it may take several years to move a simple idea through a 1/4 inch of human skull.
- If there’s one thing that having kids will teach you, it’s home repair.
- I don’t make typos. I make new words. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
- I live the same as I type: Fast and with lots of mistakes.
- Birthday cake is the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece.
- When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.
- Every time I pull a flash drive out of a computer I feel like a spy.
- I’m pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
I`m so amazing that I can fall up the stairs and pull a door that says push.
- NFL owners are now holding a critical meeting to determine whether I’ll have to spend Sundays with my family this fall.
The dog is following me around like I’m made of meat. Wait a minute… (From our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
I decided to take an aerobics class. I bent, twisted, gyrated and jumped up and down for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
Thousands More Funny Status Updates…
Silly Dog Pic:
LOL, Shake it Off!
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