Sideways KittEh, Dat Mane, & Amusing Status Posts

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20 Amusing Facebook Posts:

  1. Look at each failure as a deposit made into the account that will help you write the check for your next significant success.
  2. Don’t try to tell me that hungry is not an emotion because I feel that clearly in my soul.
  3. When people say “I am done with people…. “Like who the heck are you gonna talk to now, animals?”
  4. LIKE this with your bottom lip. (98% of people can’t do it)
  5. Balloons are weird like… happy birthday here’s a plastic sack of my breath.
  6. You are never too old for Disney movies.
  7. Coffee: I need dis.
  8. AT&T covers 97% of Americans. In lies.
  9. Anything you say will be used against you, in an argument, 10 months from now, because I’m a woman. And we never forget. Anything. Ever.
  10. I want a cardboard cutout of myself.
  11. Facebook: A place for liars and braggers to unite.
  12. I went on a run but I came back 5 minutes later because I forgot something. I forgot that I’m fat and can’t run for more than 5 minutes.
  13. 10% of people genuinely care about your problems. The other 90% are glad that you’ve got them.
  14. The Internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.
  15. I hate when my dreams are so vivid and realistic and my life is not.
  16. I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces.
  17. You do not have to attend every argument you are invited to.
  18. I’m not implying you’re stupid. I’m saying it outright. Here, I wrote it in crayon to help you understand.
  19. Roughly 70% of the contacts in my phone are restaurants, because I like food a lot more than people.
  20. GTA 5 is so realistic that even the characters in the game aren’t answering the phone when I call them.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Dat Mane…

Mufasa IRL fo’ realz!

Cat Jumps Sideways..

ROFL! Did you see that?!?! So cute 😛 Feel free to share.

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